Ah, the single life…it is grand isn’t it?
After 31 plus years of marriage (yes, to the same person) and rearing two children that are wonderful, responsible adults, I’m alone. I spent most of those 31 plus years focusing on the needs of three other people much more than I focused on myself and my needs. For the most part, I lost myself and my identity as an individual. I was someone’s wife and then someone’s mother. Being single has been my lot in life for over 20 years now. During the earlier years of this time, I was able to get reacquainted with myself and learned how to be alone all over again.
Now I can wake up when I want, go to bed when I want. Stay up late watching infomercials, sappy chick flicks or goofy comedies that possibly no one but me thinks are funny.
I can sleep on either side or all over the whole bed if I want. I can even go to bed without taking a shower if I am so inclined. I can sleep naked, or in footed pajamas. No cover at all or three blankets.
I can eat what I want when I want – cereal out of the box for supper, or a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich for lunch (and yes, that’s a thing and it’s good – you should try it.) In fact, I can eat directly out of the peanut butter jar and drink right out of the milk carton if that’s what makes me happy at that moment.
I don’t have to answer to anyone about the way I spend my money. I worked hard for it – it’s mine. If those turquoise towels make me smile – go for it! If the lime green lingerie set makes me feel sexy buy them! If I want to accessorize one of my bedrooms with hot pink and tangerine, then do it! If I want that cute, bright yellow sports car, I can get it – even if I was 60 something years old and had graying hair! (And yes…I did do all of the above.)
I can get up on Saturday morning, wearing my pajamas with the hole in them, put on my grungy old fluffy robe and bunny house slippers and stay in them all day. I don’t even have to wash my face, brush my teeth or put on makeup if I don’t want to. I can be feeling great but just in the mood to be a lazy slob all day long, who’s going to know?
I am independent and self-sufficient – very capable of taking care of myself. I can do anything –after all – I am woman! My life is my own to do as I please!
Yes indeed, single life is grand……
What do I do when I want to watch an interesting show on television or go to a movie and I want to discuss it with that someone special? What if I want to laugh out loud about something we’ve seen or done together?
What do I do when I want to take a long warm bath, slather lotion all over my body so that it’s soft and smooth, spritz on a bit of great perfume so that I will smell wonderful, and then crawl into bed with that someone special next to me and cuddle? Someone special that will hold me, kiss me, love me? Someone that wants to touch me and that will enjoy my touch?
What do I do when I’d like to have someone next to me in the kitchen to taste my special new dish that I’m preparing and tell me if it needs more salt? When I want to sit down and enjoy a nice meal with interesting conversation? Then together we can clear the table and clean the kitchen?
What do I do when I need or want the opinion of someone I trust about a major purchase? When a wrong decision could impact my life in a drastic way?
What do I do if I hurt my back again or wake up feeling sick and really need someone to help me? If I need someone to bring me crackers and hot tea – someone to pamper me – just a little, until I’m feeling better?
What do I do when I’m fearful about something – anything? When I need someone to help me feel safe and protected?
What do I do?
After all, the single life is grand…..
(To Be Continued)
Written by Karran Martin
Originally Written 4/2012 – Updated 10/2018