One morning this week I was reading Numbers 34 and verses 1-15 caught my eye. Verses 1 & 2 (NLT) says this: “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Give these instructions to the Israelites: When you come into the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your special possession, these will be the boundaries.’” Then through verse 15 He gave very specific details about where the boundaries for their country were to be.
The commentary in my Bible for this day said this: “God is the One who establishes the boundaries of nations (see Acts 17:26). Here, He sets the boundaries of Israel from north to south and east to west. The boundaries show that Israel is not to have all the land, only the portion God promised to Abraham.” * (By the way, the verse referenced above in Acts says this (NLT): “From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.”)
The Israelites were preparing to cross into Canaan – their Promised Land – and there were no if’s, and’s or but’s about where the boundaries were to be. There was no room for compromise or argument whatsoever. God didn’t just send them in with no direction – allowing them to conquer and inhabit any of the land they might desire – only within the boundaries He established for them. They were then directed to divide the land according to the size of each tribe – giving more land to the larger tribes and less to the smaller – very sensible. You can bet there were boundaries to be considered here too. It would be similar to the city limits, county, state and national boundaries we have now.
So, per usual, my mind went down a rabbit hole and wanted to know more about boundaries and specifically what the Bible has to say on the subject. So to my computer to search I went – and if you do any searching online these days (at least on Google) you’re going to get answers researched by AI. I really liked what it had to say: “The Bible supports personal boundaries as a form of stewardship over the life God has entrusted to you, rather than a selfish act. Far from being un-Christian, healthy boundaries allow you to protect your spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being so that you can love others from a place of wholeness rather than burnout.” I believe that it can be very easy to find ourselves in situations where someone (or maybe even several someones) in our life is crossing a boundary.
There are those that are being abused physically – or maybe emotionally. (Please don’t downplay emotional abuse – it can be as crippling – of course, in a different way – but crippling nonetheless, as physical abuse.) So, are we supposed to just allow those abuses to exist in our lives? I’ve heard stories of people (primarily more women than men) that won’t leave abusive relationships because as a Christian they don’t think they should. They believe their marriage vows linked them to this person no matter what. I don’t believe that is true. Jesus gave us an example of walking away from harm. In Matthew 12 some of the “do-gooders” were criticizing and trying to shame Jesus and His disciples because they didn’t like something they had done. THEN, Jesus had the audacity to actually heal someone on the Sabbath! It made those do-gooders so angry they started plotting to kill Jesus. What did Jesus do? Did He try to console them, calm them down, apologize, swear to never do it again and live among them “peacefully”? NO – verse 15 (NLT) tells us: “But Jesus knew what they were planning. So he left that area, and many people followed him. He healed all the sick among them.” Note that He not only created a boundary between Himself (and His followers) and those do-gooders, but He left the situation, then continued on with what He needed to do. He set a boundary and did not remain in a dangerous situation.
I want to note that many of the following ideas are not original to me. I’ve taken some of the thoughts and ideas I read in the details of the AI article I found and have run with them.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT): “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” How can we best guard our hearts? Have boundaries.
Matthew :5:37a (NKJV) Jesus taught: “‘But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’” When trying to set limits with someone, remember this, because it’s a straightforward, honest answer – and that’s all you are obligated to give them. Honest boundaries.
We know that we should love others, but that doesn’t mean that we give them unlimited access to our lives or that we are at their every beck and call. Boundaries are necessary to prevent any kind of abuse from people that would take advantage of others – and unfortunately, in our world today, there are too many self-absorbed, selfish people that will use others for their benefit.
I’ve personally found myself in situations that eventually caused me to have to step back, look at circumstances in relation to someone and recognize that I was being used. I don’t think I’m unique in this, most of us have likely had these experiences. There are people all around us that have their own “story”. Sometimes it’s a situation that has been totally out of their control, but then many times it’s a situation that has come about because of their own doing. They have a sad story that pulls on heartstrings and we are pulled in, wanting to help. But over time, when they do nothing to help themselves, as we yield to them it can become exhausting physically and/or emotionally. It’s time for a boundary, because there comes a time where we’re doing more harm than good. We cannot allow setting a boundary in a relationship to cause us to feel guilty, because our personal boundary might be the catalyst to help the other person recognize they need to help themselves.
Here is an example with Jesus when He didn’t just give in to a serious need but insisted the person do something for himself. In John 5:1-14 we read the story of Jesus going to Jerusalem and seeing a man at the pool of Bethesda, who had been an invalid for 38 years. Jesus could have had compassion for the man and with just a spoken word, or a simple touch, healed him instantly. But instead, Jesus asked him “‘Would you like to get well?’” (Verse 6b NLT) That seems like an absurd question under the circumstances doesn’t it? But, in response the man told Him how he needed help and no one would help him. Jesus didn’t express pity or sympathy for his situation, He simply had him do something to help himself – “‘Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!’” (Verse 8 NLT) When the man took a step of faith and did something for himself as Jesus told him to do, he was instantly healed. So it may not always be the best thing to consistently yield into others “stories” – we may be crippling them in the long run. Maybe we need to help them see that they have the power within themselves to change their circumstances with the help of God.
Jesus was a wonderful example in the area of boundaries. Even with His intense love for everyone, He knew how to set boundaries. There were so many demands on Him from the people. They pressed in on Him wanting a touch, a word, anything to meet their immediate needs. He had to establish boundaries in order to refresh Himself. He couldn’t allow all of their needs to consume Him. Luke 5:16 (AMP) says: “But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray [in seclusion].” Boundaries for personal rest and restoration are necessary for us all.
We need to avoid becoming overextended, which can lead to burnout. It can be easy to do when there’s something we love so much that we just keep committing to more and more. It may be for our family, it may be for friends, for co-workers, even for our church. But there is a time for everything – and we are not the only person that is capable of doing the many things that need to be done. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (MSG): “There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth.” Be wise in deciding when is the opportune time for you to do certain things and learn to step away when the time isn’t right for you. Boundaries can give other people the chance to help when it’s their opportune time and give you the rest you likely need.
Especially as Christians, we might encounter people or situations where we are faced with the decision about becoming involved. We know that we are to help those in need, protect the innocent, and care for those less fortunate. But sometimes those situations have been created by bad actors and aren’t all they seem. It could be a situation that might even endanger us. We need to have our spiritual radars up and active at all times – especially when we encounter out-of-the-ordinary circumstances that might be pulling at us for help. For our own protection, we need boundaries. 1 Corinthians 5:33 (CEV): “Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you.”
One last quote from the AI article: “Boundaries and Forgiveness – A common misunderstanding is that forgiveness requires granting unlimited access to an offender. While Christians are called to forgive everyone, this does not mean immediately trusting them or making oneself vulnerable to further harm. Boundaries are not tools for punishment; rather, they can be an invitation to a healthier relationship built on mutual respect and truth.”
It’s important that we recognize that boundaries are good and learn how to establish them in our lives. They can make a great deal of difference in so many ways. Ask God to help you see when and where you need to establish them.
In closing: “In short, boundaries are not walls. The Bible does not say that we are to be “walled off” from others; in fact, it says that we are to be “one” with them (see John 17:11). We are to be in community with them. But in every community, all members have their own space and property. The important thing is that property lines be permeable enough to allow passing and strong enough to keep out danger.” **
Written by Karran Martin
March 12, 2026
[All bold emphasis is mine]
*The One Year Chronological Study Bible by Tyndale
**Quote from an article: “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No” by John Townsend at Faithgateway.com
Karran's Korner 