Parenting

This morning during my Bible study time, I was reading 1 Samuel.  Chapter 1 talks about Hannah and her deep yearning for a son – so much so that she went to the Tabernacle where it says she “was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.” (vs 10)  She goes on to commit to God that if He’ll answer her prayer for a son, that she’ll give the child back to Him.  The Lord did honor her prayer and she had a son that was named Samuel.  The Bible doesn’t tell us what Samuel’s age was when Hannah took him back to the Tabernacle to fulfill her promise to God.  When I searched for an answer, the opinions were greatly varied – all the way from a toddler to potentially up to 12 years old.  But apparently the majority consensus is that he was likely about 3-5 years old.  

He was placed in the care of Eli, who was a High Priest and a Judge that presided at the Tabernacle in Shiloh.  It seems to me that Samuel had been taught and mentored very well by his parents because as you move into the story in chapter 2, it appears he’s very disciplined and obedient.  He also seemed to have thrived under the guidance of Eli.  We’re told in chapter 3:19-21:  “As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him and made come true everything that Samuel said. So all the people of Israel, from one end of the country to the other, knew that Samuel was indeed a prophet of the Lord.  The Lord continued to reveal himself at Shiloh, where he had appeared to Samuel and had spoken to him. And when Samuel spoke, all Israel listened.”  When I did a search, this is what AI had to say about Samuel:  “Samuel was arguably one of the most influential figures in Biblical history, serving as the pivotal last judge, first true prophet, and ‘kingmaker’ who transitioned Israel into a monarchy. He established the school of prophets, anointed Kings Saul and David, and maintained national unity against the Philistines through his spiritual and political leadership.”

So, this all seemed to be a bit strange as I read further – because Eli’s two adult sons were wicked in their dealings with the people and very dismissive of their Father’s warnings.  In 2:22 it specifically says that although Eli was old, he was fully aware of what his sons were doing.  He verbally warned them but took no action to stop them.  But they paid the price – both being killed in battle on the same day – just as God had told Eli (verse 34.)  And, on that same day, in chapter 4, it tells us that when Eli is told about the battle with the Philistines, that the Ark of God had been captured and that his two sons had been killed – he fell, broke his neck and died.     

There are several things that could be taken away from this story, but for some reason the thing that jumped out to me is how apparently Eli had failed in his parenting role with his sons.  They were so rebellious and immoral and had no respect for him when he told them to stop the behavior.  As mentioned in the above paragraph, Eli was fully aware but did nothing; and, in those times, rebellion was dealt with very harshly:  “‘If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or of his mother, and when they reprimand and discipline him, he will not listen to them, then his father and mother shall take hold of him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his hometown. They shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from among you, and all Israel will hear of it and be afraid.’”  (Deut. 21:18-21 AMP)  But yet, Eli did not take any action.  

In the Bible there are other prevalent examples of bad parenting – David failed to discipline his children and it lead to rape, murder and rebellion.  

Rebekah and Isaac played favorites with their sons which caused a divided home with toxic attitudes and a huge falling out between their sons.  

King Ahab and Queen Jezebel had a daughter, Athaliah, that was influenced heavily by their extremely evil examples.  Athaliah led her son astray – “He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother was his adviser [and she encouraged him] to act wickedly. So he did evil in the sight of the Lord like the house of Ahab, for they were his advisers after the death of his father, resulting in his destruction.”  (2 Chron. 22:3-4 AMP)  

In Mark 6 is the story of a very vindictive, hateful Herodias that manipulated her daughter into evil behavior by asking for John the Baptist to be executed – bringing his head to her on a platter.     

Those are the kind of parents we should never want to imitate.  

But let’s face it – parenting is a tough job.  When you love your children it’s easy to want to pamper and indulge them.  It’s easy to look past the things they do or don’t do that are wrong rather than coming across as a “meanie” in their eyes with appropriate discipline.  But we do them no favors with that treatment – neglecting to demand the best from them and prove our love for them.  Here are some admonitions for proper parenting: 

“If you don’t correct your children, you don’t love them. If you love them, you will be quick to discipline them.”  Proverbs 13:24 (ERV)

“Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won’t kill them.  A good spanking, in fact, might save them from something worse than death.”  Proverbs 23:13-14 (MSG)  

“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline [correction administered with godly wisdom and lovingkindness] will remove it far from him.”  Proverbs 22:15 (AMP)

Fortunately there are some good examples of the kind of parents we should want to emulate.  Aside from the example of good parenting done by Hannah here are some others:

The Lord speaking about Abraham:  “‘I have made a special agreement with him. I did this so that he would command his children and his descendants to live the way the Lord wants them to. I did this so that they would live right and be fair. Then I, the Lord, can give him what I promised.’”  (Genesis 18:10 ERV)

Eunice and Lois – the mother and grandmother of Timothy instilled great faith in him.  Paul speaking to Timothy said:  “‘I remember your true faith. That kind of faith first belonged to your grandmother Lois and to your mother Eunice. I know you now have that same faith.’”  (2 Timothy 1:5 ERV)

And, we have the example of Mary and Joseph that obediently raised Jesus.  You can read in Luke 2 how they followed their divine instructions and I believe, providing Him an environment full of love and faithfulness.

I look back on the years I spent raising my children and feel a great deal of guilt for so very many failures.  But when we recognize those failures it’s important to pray for God to cause any negative results to fail in their influence and for it be turned around to good.   God can take all of our failures, mistakes, brokenness and turn it around –  “…we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”  (Romans 8:28 MSG)

So whether you’re still of the age to be actually parenting children, or you’re past that and maybe find yourself influencing grandchildren or even great grandchildren – remember those Biblical examples of good parenting.  

One thing we should always keep in mind however, is that no matter how hard we try to raise our children correctly, they are still individuals that have to make their own choices.  There are times those choices aren’t going to be good ones regardless of our positive influences.  Even Samuel, as outstanding a man as he was, had some issues with his sons.  1 Samuel 8:1-5 (AMP) says:  “And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons as judges over Israel. Now the name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judging in Beersheba. His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice.  Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah and said to him, ‘Look, you have grown old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint us a king to judge us [and rule over us] like all the other nations.’”  The lack of restraint and obedience of Samuel’s sons caused the people to turn their backs on the idea of having a Judge to lead them, causing them to call for a King as a leader instead.

As Christians, we can lean on our God and His promises, to guide us and depend on Him to help us in any failures.  We must discipline our children out of love, treat each child fairly and help them to know about and follow God.  Proverbs 22:6 (AMP):  “Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Written by Karran Martin – April 9, 2026

[All bold emphasis is mine]